FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES AND BOBOS

It was a regular day in Benin City at a regular supermarket where regular people like me work. In my two years of working here as a cashier, I had come across all sorts of people. The kind, the unkind, the patient, the impatient and those who leave their change with you. I particularly like such customers. No matter how much their change may be they just leave it with the cashier, not that I delight in getting handouts as such but you know some days they really come in handy.

Today was a Tuesday and this morning business was really slow. There were just a handful of customers around and there was not much to be done. Any way I had to keep myself busy and so I settled down to read a book I had been on for the past 2 days titled: ‘Run up that hill’ by Michael Overton.

I was so engrossed in the book but I was brought back to my call of duty by a customer who wanted to pay for his purchase.

Putting my book down, I wore a smile and wished my customer a good morning. He smiled and said a good morning in reply. The whiff that came from his mouth was unbelievable. How could such a young gentleman have such bad breath? I packaged his ware for him and in a not so obvious way brought out a new toothbrush and told him that we are giving out complimentary toothbrushes to people who buy things worth N2000.00 and above. He was so grateful, of course I had to pay for the toothbrush and as he left I said under my breath please make sure you use it.

Getting back to my book I felt really good with myself I had done a good deed today. Barely 5minutes after he left, a young lady, who I suppose was in her early twenties walked into the supermarket. She was not alone she had a gentleman with her. It was obvious he was a 50cent wannabe which wasn’t so cool since he was not so young at all. He had on baggy three quarter jean trousers, a black body hugging sleeveless T-shirt which did nothing to help hide his bulging stomach and most annoying of it all were these gold dog chains round his neck. I thought to myself, what was a young, good looking, sophisticated young girl doing with the likes of him. You could tell he had money to spend, maybe that was the attraction but that was not my business.

She was so pretty. Fair in complexion, so well dressed she could pass for a model. I admired her as she walked round the supermarket in search of what to buy. She was really attractive.

When she was done shopping, she came to my counter to pay and what I heard gave me the shock of my life.

MODEL DISASTER:  Hai want to pay for my hear cream. (Translation: I want to pay for my hair cream).

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the gentleman with her put the icing on the cake and the following conversation ensued between them:

GENTLEMAN: Ho bebe, ha you chure you have buy heverytin you want? (Translation: baby, are you sure you have bought everything you want?).

And just when I thought I had heard enough,

MODEL DISASTER:  ‘you know we ha sti going to the restolrant to hit, and the way my belle is doing me, his dere we will really need the money. (Translation: You know we are still going to the restaurant to eat and I am really hungry so we will need all the money there).

I was in a state of mental shock as the gentleman brought out a wad of cash and paid for her ‘hear crème’.

And then almost like a revelation from on high it hit me. It’s not always about the looks! It’s about making the good looks count with self-development, education and language.

photo credit:clipartguide.com

JUBEMI OMABUWA